Friday Short Story #5: Cat's out of the Bag

Prompt: "Drama about a cat constantly trying to escape...then succeeds and goes DRAT"

Attempt Number 4738

As expected, the tall naked ones are making their usual movements around the den that signal they will be heading out to hunt soon. No doubt they will return unsuccessful. Again. But that is of little concern to me now, as I have spent the night making the necessary preparations.

Previous attempts have failed due to my own lack of foresight and the naked ones’ buffoonery, but this time the plan is full proof. All they have to do it find my barf on that rug and…

“Ugh! Wah wa wah! Wah wuh weh woh wuh!”

Good, that was the female. She must have found it. Now I just have to make it to the hamper before the male does. He is picking up the rug now. That means I have exactly a minute until he makes it back to the hamper. Then it’s a quick hide under the dirty rug and its out the garage with the rest of the laundry.

…

I am now in the hamper, quietly sequestered beneath my favorite socks. As planed they are covered in my hair from last night for additional camouflage. The male should arrive right about… now!

*Whump*

Darkness covers me. The rug was a success. How could I have not thought of this before?!

“Wah wah! Wah wuh huh…”

Wait… why is the male voice growing distant. He is supposed to take the hamper straight outside! Patience Baron, you can wait.

…

Years have passed. Or hours. I have no way of telling. The smell of my stale barf a small comfort for the waiting ahead. At least I have an emergency snack if they forget about me in here. As my mind gives in to sensory deprivation I can hear the sounds of my dream prey like they are in here with me instead of behind that invisible force-field I have been staring out all my life. I can feel the touch of the big green carpet where the prey play. Unknowing of the power within me that has watched all these years. Soon. Soon it will all be real, and they will know my fury and appetite.

…

Certainly it has been years at this point. My emergency rations have dried into a crust I cannot consume and I will surely soon starve. I always knew that one day they would never return. Leaving me to rot over my empty food dish. Belly bloated on the last of the meat flavored rocks they call food. I just never knew my final resting place would be here. Cloaked in this darkness. Should I give up and find what rations I can? Certainly there will be time for another attempt. If they ever return.

…

Was that the door opening? In my delirious state I could have imagined that. How long has it been?

“Wum wah wah. Pixie?!”

It is them. How can they not have figured out I will never come to that stupid name. Just one more reason to be rid of this place. Now I just have to fend off starvation for a little while longer.

“Wah wuh wah. Pixie, wah wah wah.”

*whoosh*

Success! I feel the hamper moving now. Baron old boy you’ve done it! Only moments now until you’re free. Yes, yes, that’s the door latch its almost here! I can hear the prey noises all around me! The smells!

*whomp*

The hamper has stopped moving. I must me in the garage…. Ah, the male is as lazy as I had hoped. That must be the sound of his footsteps leaving. He didn’t even empty the hamper. Maybe we could have been friends if I had stayed. He has a cats work ethic. I can build on that.

…

Ok its now or never. He must be gone by now. Just a quick leap and…

RATS! Its so cold! What is this all around me?! Its like when the naked ones open the big silver box but its everywhere! Maybe if I get out of the garage it’ll be better. I need to feel the green carpet.

*Distant rumbling*

What was that? An angry cat in the sky? It must be…

*plop*

WET! How am I wet? Where did it come from? They sky?! Where am I! No. No. No .No not more of it. Not more. Quick! To the green carpet, maybe it’ll stop there. Only a few feet now…

No! Its wet too! And not carpet at all! Where is all the prey? Do they know about this wet from above? Maybe they have dens… It cant be. Is that the forcefield? Maybe its only one way. Wherever I am no nightmare has prepared me for such hell.

…

Im doomed. The forcefield works both ways. Can not hold back my primal screams of terror any longer. I will use my remaining strength to attempt to claw through the force field or loose my claws trying. It is the only hope that remains to me now.

…

Its them! They are looking for me! Oh how I was wrong! Please take me back into the fold! You may be naked idiot cats but you sure know how to build a den!

…

They have found me. My tongue is growing raw from removing the sky moisture but it is well worth it. Idiot naked ones must have taken me to the wrong place. Tomorrow I will try again and truly find that place I see behind the forcefield. Patience Baron. Patience.